When we encounter barriers in our lives—whether in work, relationships, or even our own self-development—the cause is rarely as simple as a single obstacle. Instead, there is usually a dynamic at play: the push of internal resistance and the pull of systemic bonds. Understanding how these forces interact is not just theory; it is a lens that can reveal why we get stuck, why systems fail, and how change begins. In our experience, recognizing both layers puts us on the path from frustration to clarity.
What is internal resistance?
Each person carries an internal world that is both rich and, at times, conflicted. Internal resistance is the silent but strong force inside us that pushes back when we try to change. It can show up as procrastination, self-doubt, fear, or a general feeling of being blocked, even when we know what needs to be done.
We have seen that internal resistance is rarely random. It is often made up of:
- Core beliefs (e.g., “I am not worthy,” “Success is risky”)
- Emotional habits from past experiences
- Protective fears meant to keep us safe from real or imagined harm
- Unconscious loyalties to family or groups, like, “People like me do not do this”
Internal resistance acts like an internal braking system. The harder we push for change, the more resistance can show up. Noticing it is the first step. Too often, we blame ourselves for “lack of willpower,” when really, the mind is just trying to protect us—sometimes from threats that are not even present anymore.
Not every block is a flaw. Sometimes it is protection in disguise.
How do systemic bonds work?
While resistance is internal, systemic bonds are external and relational. These are the invisible threads that tie us to families, teams, cultures, organizations, and even the wider society. They shape our sense of identity, belonging, and obligation.
Some systemic bonds are obvious, like the rules in a workplace or traditions in a family. Others are subtle. They might be unspoken rules (“Do not speak up here”), collective loyalties (“We always help each other no matter what”), or inherited dynamics (“Nobody in our family goes to university”). These patterns shape choices, often without us realizing it.
We find it helpful to look at systemic bonds as both sources of support and patterns that can hold us back. They connect us, but sometimes they limit us to what the system expects.
We live inside systems, but systems also live inside us.
Where resistance and bonds meet
In our view, true transformation happens at the meeting point of internal resistance and systemic bonds. When we try to change a habit or pursue a new goal, internal resistance might say, “Stay safe, do not risk it.” At the same time, systemic bonds may echo, “Do not leave the group,” or “You do not belong with people who do that.” Change feels hard because both forces are working—sometimes in partnership to keep us exactly where we are.
We have noticed that when someone seems “stuck,” it is rarely because of weak motivation alone. There is often a hidden dynamic of loyalty, obligation, or fear that connects their internal world with the wider web around them. Looking only inside, or only at external structures, misses half the picture.
Recognizing the signs in real life
We can spot the effects of internal resistance and systemic bonds in these ways:
- Repeated failures to change, even with real effort
- Sacrificing personal goals for the sake of group harmony
- Feeling out of place when making progress, as if “betraying” family or team
- Sensing guilt or anxiety when doing something new or different
- A pattern of sabotage after initial success, as if hitting an invisible wall
If these sound familiar, it may be worth considering what systems we are unconsciously tied to, and what internal stories are at work. Change requires awareness of both stories: the one we tell ourselves, and the one being told by the systems we belong to.
Practical ways to work with both
From our perspective, untangling ourselves begins by seeing. Here are steps we suggest to work with both resistance and bonds:
- Observe internal signals. Notice where you feel resistance—in body and mind. Is it anxiety, heaviness, restlessness? Pinpoint what triggers it. Sometimes just naming the feeling changes it.
- Identify systemic loyalties. Ask yourself, “Who benefits if I stay the same?” or “What group might I be betraying by growing?” Write down answers without censoring.
- Map both layers. Draw two circles: one for “me,” one for “my groups.” Note the beliefs, fears, and loyalties in each. Where do they overlap or clash?
- Allow conflicting feelings. It is normal to value change and fear it. Hold both at once. This reduces the energy spent fighting yourself.
- Take tiny steps. The internal and systemic can shift with small, consistent actions. Sometimes a small act of change, done safely, gives others permission to shift too.
Our experience shows that patience is key. These patterns did not appear overnight, nor will they change instantly. By bringing attention and understanding to both levels, we begin to find freedom.
What we discover about freedom and responsibility
Working with both internal resistance and systemic bonds brings out a new possibility. We discover that:
- Freedom comes not from breaking every bond, but from being aware of what connects and restricts us.
- Responsibility includes tending to our personal intentions and understanding our place in a larger web.
- When we shift internally, the system can shift. And when the system shifts, our internal world finds new ground for growth.
There is power in realizing that our struggles are not only private problems. They are part of a dynamic structure—inside and all around us—that can be understood, engaged, and slowly transformed.
Conclusion
We have come to see that internal resistance and systemic bonds are not just abstract theories; they are active forces in everyday life. By recognizing both, we can stop blaming ourselves for stuckness and instead engage with the real complexity at play. Freedom grows where we are willing to see both the strength of our inner world and the threads that connect us to others. This is the path to real, lasting change—not just for ourselves, but also for the systems we touch.
Frequently asked questions
What is internal resistance in systems?
Internal resistance in systems is the combination of psychological, emotional, and protective mechanisms that hold back change or action, even when there is a conscious intent to do something new. It can manifest as doubt, fear, or habits that prevent forward movement. These patterns come from our own histories and beliefs and are often not logical, but they are consistent in blocking progress.
How do systemic bonds affect performance?
Systemic bonds shape performance by influencing what is accepted, expected, and supported within the systems we belong to. If a team or family supports growth, it can boost individual performance. If the group is risk-averse or change-resistant, those traits tend to limit personal and collective achievement. Often, systemic bonds can either reinforce good habits or act as hidden brakes on progress.
Is it better to focus on resistance or bonds?
Focusing on both is usually more effective than choosing one over the other. If we work only on our inner resistance without seeing the web of systems around us, change can remain limited. However, ignoring internal signals and focusing only on external dynamics also leaves part of the issue unsolved. Integrating both leads to deeper and longer-lasting transformation.
How can I measure internal resistance?
Measuring internal resistance can be done by observing patterns of avoidance, strong emotional reactions to change, or repeated setbacks in similar situations. Personal journaling, feedback from trusted others, and even noting physical symptoms (like anxiety or restlessness) can give clues. The intensity and frequency of resistance in certain situations often mark its strength.
Do systemic bonds reduce overall risk?
Systemic bonds can reduce risk by providing support, guidance, and predictable responses during change. However, they can also limit new opportunities and favor stability over growth. The impact on risk depends on whether the system encourages innovation or prioritizes safety and tradition.
